m.a.d.n.e.s.s

madness

bittersweet distractor

i'm on a vacation... yet i did not ask for one.

its a soul journey.


for the greater good?

& so it goes...

i'm out of the soon-to-be dino-corporation. i never was one of the kids that stayed anywhere for too long... even if i thought i would.

money isn't worth as much as we think it is.

i'm free --(for a couple of days at least)-- yet i feel bound.

nighttiming

its a wondrous adventure... my life, and the people i meet and see. spend time with. the intimacy that endures with people. late night hanging sessions have always been my weakness. its perfectly haunting how i have found some souls who vibe with that.


oh...

(and the trips i have been on)

observing my life

...


its crackling down... to this one moment..

of... decadence.

and... here i am, waiting.

for that one perfect moment.

hunter moon.

the full moon this month is called the Hunter Moon. The Full Hunter's Moon is generally in October- with the leaves falling and the deer fattened, it is time to hunt. Since the fields have been reaped, hunters can easily see fox and the animals which have come out to glean.

isn't that just fucking smashing?

ahhhhh....

the crunchy leaves of fall, and how i love the crisp air.

im a totally sap...

...look at me....i am a mess

really?

i love the stars... but, really? i mean... really? not doubting anything, but this is pretty exciting. kinda. exciting cause maybe someone understands... crazy cause its strange...



Personal Daily Horoscope of Friday, 8 August 2008
for Elizabetha Dibble, born 3 November 1983

Room for the new ***
Valid during many months: This very pleasant influence allows you to experience this as a time in which you feel in harmony with your personal and professional goals. Even if you face great challenges you should trust the whisperings of your inner voice if they tell you that you are on the right path. Everyday demands will take up much of your time and energy. You do not always have to give in, nor should you feel guilty if you sometimes say no. Such feelings of guilt have their origins in childhood, when you were dependent on your parents' love and attention. Your fear of being abandoned if you were not able to fulfil your parents' wishes and expectations was the natural response.

Under this influence these basic fears of being abandoned may resurface. Your boss may ask you to do things which you consider to be beyond your capabilities. If this occurs you should not hesitate to express your feelings. You are unlikely to lose your job, but if this happens something new and more appropriate will turn up. It will also greatly ease your situation if you can stop fighting to hold onto things which have become one burden too many, causing much of your inner turmoil. The ability to let go of things which have brought little benefit despite costing a lot of time and energy can create the space for new experiences.

The interpretation above is for your transit selected for today:
Chiron Trine Med.Coeli, , exact at 20:40
activity period from end of February 2008 until middle of January 2009

exit music

oh my heart was deliciously encompassed in a ball of love on monday evening at the blossom center in ohio when i saw radiohead, sigh, again.
it was so unbelievable... and this time the weather was perfect, the venue was perfect and i was in absolute heaven, here is the playlist.

Setlist:
01. 15 Step
02. There There
03. Morning Bell
04. All I Need
05. Pyramid Song
06. Nude
07. Weird Fishes/Arpeggi
08. The Gloaming
09. The National Anthem
10. A Wolf At The Door
11. Faust Arp
12. Exit Music (For A Film)
13. Jigsaw Falling Into Place
14. Idioteque
15. Climbing Up The Walls
16. Bodysnatchers
17. How to Disappear Completely

Encore 1
18. Videotape
19. Paranoid Android
20. Dollars and Cents
21. Reckoner
22. Street Spirit

Encore 2
23. House of Cards (Thom: “This is most definitely a love song.”)
24. Lucky (Thom begins: “Thanks to..” someone yells, “Hi Thom!” Thom waves and continues, “Hello Everyone. Thanks to Grizzly Bear.”)
25. Everything In Its Right Place

Radiohead

decadance

can i tell you how much i miss college?? my friend wrote this.. and i fucking LOVE it...

here you are..



one last stab at decadence

(a last gasp)

the final attempt at expression
necessarily preceeding the demise
of the mother of invention…

(the murder’s only evidence:
a slow vibration, diluted
until its effluence is lost among the stars)

maybe, in another thousand years,
the blessings and curses temporality imparts
(in shallow curves and terrific eruptions)
will bring about a return to pure innovation;
a truly human renaissance

or maybe, the gravity
from whence we came
will gracefully reclaim us…

(as you bask in the glow of being,
know too that such brightnesses
are framed by shadow)

there are depths like a separate dimension,
there are hellish heavens placed among
the million tiny points of light,

(stellar bodies that speak
in slow vibration)

their voices
swallowed by the vacuum…

(they are decadence’s last stab
at the night)


“the million tiny points of light”



-b

sayin' goodbye

the entire universe goes towards complexity... i was told as the mosquitos bit my legs and feet..

really?

i'm slightly imparired... infected with a raspberry sickness.. and all i can think about is decreasing disorder.. and the complexity that we are supposed to be moving towards... & this process makes me wonder how come i end up where i started?


ahhh the pain that saves.


& afterthoughts...

100% de AGAVE ... and strange experiences with smashing people... friends... and friends fo real.

the more blood the better...




(cease)

"you cannot blame the moth until you've seen the flame" - Rumi

my greatest love & saddest sorrow (always has, and never will)

how come i end up where i started?

truths.

forgive me, i did not know what i'd done.

a slow ripening fruit - forced to be sweet- soft
too soon & perfect timing.

making a most luscious momentary pleasure.

(and how else can it really be?)

last chance

so i packed my bags and moved from gregory goodrich of the third accord and moved on to cypress street with two pretty ladies and a lovely cat named bonkers. my bar buddy yash was so kind to help/watch me pack the last of my items. we cleared everything out and took a photo by christmas lights. it was fun.

summer is salacious.

Harley.

 

Harley. i miss you man. I hope Germany is treating you right. you will always be one of my favorite scorpios.

 

 

 

gahhhh

so, mr. gregory fucking diamond took this photo of me, i ran into his house feeling mayhem and he just snapped this shot... and yea, its me.

thanks man.

your lighting rules

 

t i d e s

she's back



and i felt her more yesterday......

impatience

the picture is never like the view.





(the view is always real.)





relish in the picture, wait for the view.

linger.

so i am regularly biking to a valley, that seems to only be occupied by me... day after day, although i'm a breath away from a paradise filled with people... and this is my santuary.... the valley.... all the way up to the hill i am picking fruit.. and helping things grow... i am at peace. and i tell people about this glorious place and they all nod... in agreement about how wonderful this thing i have found it... they do not ask where it is... and i do not offer the information up......

take me away.........

green and a constant reminder of beauty... no fools here... only tricksters

astro

this is what astro says for me today;
Full Moon
A compulsive quality
This influence intensifies your emotional expression throughout the day and makes your relationships more intense. You will feel your love for someone quite strongly today, and you will be able to express it meaningfully to your loved one. Sexual desire is also stimulated by this influence, but only as part of the overall emotional intensification. A new relationship that starts under this influence is likely to be quite intense. You feel drawn to another as if by magical power, because the other person represents something inside you that needs expression through a love relationship. It is really the power of your own psyche that you feel. Such a relationship can be quite good, although it is desirable that the compulsive quality wear off before you settle down to a long-term relationship.

redankulous.

the moon is full, yes, right now. at this very moment it is full. i felt/feel the full effects of it. last night i wanted to engage my full emotions in whatever i was doing.. even if that meant walking down the street to arrive at the bar, a bar i went to hang out at... but did not have the energy to deal with anyone else's emotions. just my own. & mr diamond was at his photos again last night. i stopped a lot of places... then the height of my emotions traveled far... and here i am. unable to understand.... ready to move.

sleep

i cannot sleep. my brain will not allow it. my body was ill, now recovered. i want to dream... i seem to be better at it when i am awake. always dreaming.. always breathing.

lapses of time, and....... music.

music always remains. its the only constant happiness that can be provided.

i was there.

(i feel this now, as i felt it then)

in my dreams...

in my dreams, i am afraid of heights... i am not allergic to bees... and i hang out with really cool people. in my dreams, i try and conquer my fear of heights and my friends hold my hand and tell me to run faster, they pull me, and make me run with them.

in my dreams ::sigh:: i am already going on adventures with people i really enjoy and no matter how many silly things i say or do.. they are all about me.

(real life isn't so bad) but.. those

flashy-backy, crazy, real, live, dreams.

The city sun set over me

Can you hear them?
The helicopters
I'm in New York
No need for words now
We sit in silence
You look me in the eye directly
You met me
I think it's Wednesday, the evening
The mess we're in and

The city sun set over me
The city sun set over me

Night and day
I dream of making love to you now, baby
Love making on screen
Impossible dream
And I have seen the sun rise over the river
The freeway reminded of
This mess we're in and

The city sun set over me
The city sun set over me

The city sun set over me
The city sun set over me

What were you wanting? (What was it you wanted?)
I just wanna say don't ever change now baby (I just wanna say don't ever change)
And thank you, I don't think we will meet again
(And thank you, I don't think we will meet again)
(And we must leave now)
And you must leave now (Before the sun rises over the skyscrapers)
Before the sun rises (And the city landscape comes into being)
Above skyscrapers (Sweat on my skin, oh)
Sin and

[both] This mess we're in

The city sun set over me
The city sun set over me
The city sun set over me
The city sun set over me

my moon, my man

There's nowhere to go but on

******

It's the dirtiest clean I know

...this is just a nightmare

4 Minute Warning

This is just a nightmare
But soon I'm going to wake up
Someone's gonna bring me around

Hiding from the bombers
Wading through the fields
Running in the half light

Running to ????
Just like everybody
Could ????

Running through the underground
And this is your warning
4 minute warning

I don't wanna hear it
I don't wanna grow old
I just wanna run and hide

Now I'm in a nightmare
But soon I'm gonna wake up
Someone's gonna bring me 'round

This is your warning
4 minute warning


...ahh i was at this show. love this song, almost more than one could possibly believe

lucas

the cake....




lucas

the dull flame of desire

i was just sitting here, and the bjork song came on.... 'the dull flame of desire" and i was transported to the first time i heard it... live and in person on May 2, 2007. she actually had antony come and sing it in person with her. it was the 1 year since the death of kurt's father, my uncle spencer.

the show was pretty hilarious ... & as one person noted "How funny was that guy that started skipping around the stage? At first I thought he was another guest or part of the show, but when he got tackled by Refrigerator Perry, BOOM!"

it was a great moment. lol.

its snowy and wonderful right now. i went to work, came back and had to walk through 2 feet of powdery wonderful freshly fallen snow.

and tonight when i had my cigarette break... you should have seen how beautiful the little snow flakes were falling on my black jacket!

the flow

and what a day it was...

ahhhhh

(on another note... i enjoy these lyrics immensly.)
I want so badly to believe that "there is truth,
that love is real"
and I want life in every word to the extent
that it's absurd

good/bad

my friends really are the best. therefore... they are good.

today feels good to start a blog.

i loathe the word blog, but i daresay.. it must be done.

its snowy out.

my car is snowed in.